the summer, I got to be 'me'...

Today was the first day of my son's second grade. It was both a joy- he's growing up so fast and a tiny bit of sadness- growing up way too fast!

I was just supremely surprised today by how fast the summer swept by. My son's school generally indicates the beginning of the University term too. We officially begin next week, but we have already started the process of orientations and meetings... another semester, many more stories. 

The 2022 summer is perhaps the one I have enjoyed the most since 2013 when we moved to South Africa. Summers are always my favorite season- not just because I have my birthday in the summer, but because of summer vacation- a long enough break that we can breathe. One of the chief reasons for this summer being special was obvious- my parents were here with us in Kansas, but another was that I had time to simply read, relax, travel, and be myself. 

I was born with a lust for travel. As a kid, I dreamt of becoming a truck driver traveling with goods throughout India. A minor part of that dream was perhaps realized when I attended grad school at Pittsburg State University in Pittsburg, Kansas. I would drive through prairie grasslands and see rural Kansas for two and half hours daily. It was crazy and one of the most enjoyable experiences of my life.

This summer, we went to the beach, and you can see the photos if you follow my social media accounts. This was my son's first visit to the beach, and we got on a road trip in between, so it was bliss. We also visited many family-friendly places in Kansas city itself. We went to the Science City and the Union Station in KC and our favorite, the KC zoo. We visited the KC plaza and the Prarie Fire Museum in Overland Park.  

I saw an advertisement the other day which resonates with me. The ad is perhaps from one of the travel companies- asking viewers what they would regret more when they die- the places they did not visit or the things they did not buy? For me, it's definitely the former- the places not visited. However, I don't think it was just the travels that made this summer so special. It wasn't just my parent's visit but a culmination of small things I achieved or re-lived over this summer that made it so special. 

This is why I am back at writing. This summer, the one thing I did for myself was to get back to writing my blog. I started blogging in 2006 when blogging was emerging. We had just brought a desktop computer, and my brother and I were becoming conscious of what the internet could offer. I came across a news article about how blogging and social media change the world. I became intrigued and decided to open an account on Google and started writing. 

I loved the fact that through my words, I was able to reach so many people. I still remember the comment from Mongolia on my Arab Spring blog entry. Gosh, it was enthralling. A girl from Kolkata writes about revolutions in faraway Egypt and Tunisia, and someone in Ulan Bator reads that blog and comments on it. How would anyone not be giddy at the possibilities the internet could offer humankind? Alas, it seems that initial euphoria might have been a tad bit misplaced. Anyhow, life intervened, and I stopped blogging for a long time. This summer, I decided to be back again, pursuing my second love, that of writing. 

I also did a whole of reading this summer. Of course, I am pursuing a doctoral degree, so I guess reading comes with the job, and I love it. But this summer, I read books like The Filter Bubble by Eli Pariser alongside The Traitor Quen- the second book in The Bridge Kingdom series. I also read two rather nice romances, and I was surprised they still wrote them clean. I also spent quite a bit of money on second-hand books- which I shall probably never read, but hoarding them feels so good. I was sad to see the Friends of Johnson County Library second-hand bookstore close, and I purchased a good amount of books to make myself feel a little less guilty. 

So, yes, this summer, I did all of those, but most importantly, I took out time to be myself, to get back to the things that made my life meaningful and put zest into it. Beyond my identities as a mother, wife, daughter, and sister, I am also a reader, a traveler, and a blogger... most of the time, I get lost in embracing the former identities and losing the little bits that make me whole. This summer, I think, I have reclaimed a little bit of myself... I am glad I could still find myself in those identities, and even if for a fleeting summer, I could live again. 

Taking chances...finding hope

 

In this week's post, I wanted to rant about the recent U.S. Supreme Court's decision about Roe v. Wade, but I am not going to. Instead, I am going to write a post about taking chances and finding hope. 

So, some of you may know, that I teach at a University- University of Kansas here in Lawrence. This past semester (Spring 2022), I was teaching an online class and an in-person class. Both classes had one student each who at least in my opinion are not being treated fairly in a traditional, mainstream, University system. 

The student in my in-person class had not attended a single class during the first six weeks of the semester. The other student, the one in my online class had not submitted a single assignment in the first five weeks. 

Of course, I as an instructor did what I have been told to do by the University system. I wrote them three emails- the first two were polite and sympathetic to the conditions they are probably in which may be preventing them from submitting their assignments on time. The last one was somewhat rude- stating that I would be forced to fail them in the class if they did not communicate with me regarding their plans in the class. Now our University has a rule, that by a certain date if a student doesn't show up in class or doesn't do any assignments- the instructors may drop them. Honestly speaking- I was reluctant to drop these two students without hearing their side of the story. Pandemic taught me some pedagogical rules and the chief one I learned was that students do not really need traditional, mainstream classes to learn. Do not get me wrong, I still believe in learning- but learning can be done in myriad ways- something that Universities at least do not always realize. 

Anyhow- so here we are getting closer to the finals week of the Spring semester and these two students are still absent- from class as well as from assignment submission. Then one day- perhaps because they hadn't received any emails from my end, or perhaps of my last somewhat rude email- they reached out to me. The student in my in-person class met me in my office- and I learned about a promising youth with tons of potential. We sat together and chalked up a plan that would grant the student a passing grade. The other student- the one in my online class- met me over Zoom- and I learned about another promising youth- we too made a plan for the semester. 

Needless to state- both the students not only passed the class but both of them passed with As. They wrote to me at the end of the semester- and one sentence in both their emails stood out for me, "thank you for taking a chance on me... "

As a teacher, I think this is my greatest reward. The students whom the traditional University system dismisses- sometimes due to lack of resources, sometimes because they do not learn the way mandated by the University system- students who slip through the gaps in the system- if only someone listens to them, help them open up and encourage them- it takes time and effort but the reward is so much greater. 

I know there are many teachers like me who take chances every day with similar students. I know there are many more educators who want to but cannot due to institutional failures. To me, my teachers have always been superheroes but I think, these students are real superheroes- who conquer all odds and come out shining. I felt so happy and at peace today when I upgraded their grades to As in the University grade roaster that I decided to write this blog entry. 

These students reinstate my belief in humanity- with everything terrible that is going on- and the news media pouring fire on all ends inciting polarization more than ever- you never know who gives you hope. I am hopeful today. 

Finally, I am sharing the link to a Ted talk that I heard recently where Kevin Kelly talks about why being an optimist is the only way to progress. 

Adios, till my next post. 

And yes, take chances on others- it's a beautiful feeling to be rewarded with the result. 

Ted talk on optimism

The tangle of priorities

 The last time I updated my blog- I lamented how I haven't gone back to writing, in a long while. I decided to get back to updating this blog more often, in fact, every Saturday (hahahah). But before I could do good upon my decision, life intervened and I ended up prioritizing other things. 

Which made me think: How do you prioritize? What comes first for you? 

I thought of writing this week's blog on priorities. 

Besides writing, my other love is reading. Lately, I found myself reading books on social media and how it is destroying or saving democratic societies. But curiously, in my library- both Kindle and actual, I also found titles such as Atomic Habits, 12 Rules For Life, and Peak. Needless to say, I still have to read any of those, but from whatever I could glean from cursory reading is that priorities matter. If we do not prioritize our tasks, then we won't get anything done. That made me ask myself- how exactly do priorities work- how do we know these tasks or jobs are really, truly important to us? I mean in ten years, would we look back and remember these tasks? 

I don't know the answer to these questions but I did prioritize my tasks last week. My son's baseball routine had the top priority. I also prioritized cooking for family and seeing some episodes of Stranger Things 3, plus grading my student's assignments and writing my dissertation prospectus. 

But I did not prioritize writing my blog, reading the books I had borrowed from the library for summer, or going on a long walk with my mom. Are these not important or not as important as some of the things that I did prioritize. Would I regret not ascribing significance to these tasks ten years from now? 

I also thought about the psychology behind prioritizing certain tasks over others. The jobs or tasks that I did, or thought were urgent and needed completion related to my immediate family needs, my duties as a mother, and my job and career. The tasks I neglected or put off for another day- like writing my blog- I deemed as not significant enough, or somehow not important enough to be tackled on an immediate basis. The question is why? Why did I think that the tasks that would give me more joy could be put off for another day rather than jobs/tasks that needed to be done? I do not know the answer, but I believe a lot of times, we do put off things that provide us genuine happiness. 

Some months ago, I was hearing this podcast- The Happiness Lab (The Happiness Lab Podcast Link) and there are some episodes on "funtervention" or fun-interventions- things that the podcast host does just for fun-- things that bring joy to her. I thought, that these funtervention or fun-intervention episodes of the podcast were amazing. But, not applicable to me because I have a small kid and he needs me so I must prioritize my duties as a mother... blah, blah, blah... 

Maybe I was wrong, maybe not. Maybe I shall re-read this post in ten years and realize that my current priorities weren't priorities at all. Or maybe I shall be thankful that I did the jobs/tasks when they needed to be done. 

So if you are reading this, think about your priorities- what are you prioritizing now? Would you look back at your priorities ten years later and regret them or be satisfied that you attended to the tasks that you did? And yes, if you get time to listen to a podcast, Let The Happiness Lab be it. 

Adios... 

Reflections on writing and habits

I have been thinking about getting back to writing my blog for some time now. Age, I believe, has a way of reminding one of the priorities in life. Writing was always a priority for me, not just writing journalistic or academic pieces - that's what I do for a living. But just writing, writing words that flow from me. Writing is my therapy, always has been, always will be. 

Now that I turned 39 this May, I was wondering how do I tell my seven-year-old to keep following his passion when I do not follow mine? Therefore, back to writing, and back to this blog. Last year, one of my friends from college, Anna, joined the NaNoWriMo (NaNoWriMo) and wrote the novel, Almost Maybes (Kindle book link). I have been reading it. It's really good so far, and I am enjoying it. I felt truly proud of her, that she took the plunge and actually wrote. I could never do that. 

Age, I believe also shows humans what they are passionate about and what they lack. I am passionate about writing but I do lack the discipline, I believe, I am capable of eking out time for writing. So this is an attempt on my part to get back to writing- free-form writing, careless words, that just flows. This is what I envision for myself in 2022- just for me. I am going to write a post on Saturdays on this blog - every Saturday- for four Saturdays. 

However, since this blog post will be on social media, and some of you will probably read it - if you believe you have a passion you would like to take up and like me, you lack discipline, here's a TED Talk I found for you, which helped me a lot. 

Ted Talk on Grit

So that's all for now, till next Saturday, adios..!!!